31 Oct This is us: Forgiving heart

Matthew 18:21-35

²¹ Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” ²² Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times. ²³ “Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. ²⁴ When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. ²⁵ And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. ²⁶ So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ ²⁷ And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. ²⁸ But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ ²⁹ So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ ³⁰ He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. ³¹ When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. ³² Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. ³³ And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ ³⁴ And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. ³⁵ So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”

Let me start with a great quote from C.S. Lewis. “Forgiveness is a beautiful word, until you have something to forgive.” Isn’t that true? As Christians, we know that we should forgive others. But forgiveness is extremely hard. Oftentimes, it feels impossible. It feels unnatural. What feels natural is rehearsing the wrongs that others have done to us and plotting vengeance. We might not act it out, but we constantly do it in our imagination. When my ex-girlfriend cheated on me and broke up with me, I was in so much pain. I was angry. And one of my good friends told me, “Yos, you have to forgive her.” And I knew he meant well. But I really wanted to punch him in the face. I mean, after everything she did to me, why should I forgive her? It felt like I was told to give her a “get out jail free” card. And it was not fair at all. After all I had suffered, forgiveness was unthinkable and illogical. Especially, when she was not sorry. Why should I forgive? And of course, I knew better than to hurt her in person. But I tortured her countless times in my imagination. Does anyone know what I am talking about?

Forgiveness is very difficult. Especially if you have been hurt deeply by someone close to you. Maybe your close friend ended your friendship over a misunderstanding. Maybe your boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse cheated on you and left you. Maybe you were sexually abused. Maybe you were physically abused by your parents. Maybe your dad or your mom walked away from your family. Maybe you were slandered by someone you trust. Maybe the doctor gave a wrong diagnosis, and it damaged the rest of your life. Maybe your business partner lied and stole from you. You might have every reason to be bitter. The offences might happen many years ago, but you can remember it as if it just happened yesterday. And then you are told, “You have to forgive the person who hurt you.” “What? Are you kidding? Letting that person off the hook just like that? Don’t you know what that person did to me? I know the Bible teaches that we must forgive others. But that’s because God doesn’t know my story. If God knows my story, surely he would put an asterisk next to the command to forgive and have my name at the back of the Bible as an exception.” Forgiveness may be the hardest thing many of us do in our lifetimes. It feels very unfair and unjust. It goes against all the impulses of our flesh.

Today we continue our series “This is us: Growing together as righteous sinners.” Every Christian is a righteous sinner. It means that Christians have been made right with God, but Christians are also those who struggle with sin. And when a righteous sinner meets another righteous sinner, they inevitably hurt each other. They disappoint one another. And they need to learn to forgive each other. In this parable, Jesus warns us that if we do not forgive those who have hurt us from our hearts, we are in big trouble. Our unforgiveness toward others put us in prison. And the only way to get out of that prison is to release forgiveness. And what Jesus wants from us is not superficial forgiveness. Because I think we are experts at minimizing the bitterness inside of us. We say we forgive the other person with our mouth but deep inside we still hold resentment against that person. We convinced ourselves that the resentment we hold does not affect people around us. But we are wrong. We can’t see it but people around us can see it clearly. We are in the prison of bitterness. And until we forgive the offender from our hearts, we are stuck in that prison. So, the question is, how can we be set free from the prison of bitterness? This parable answers that question for us.

Let me give you the context of this parable. Jesus tells this parable to answer Peter’s question. Jesus has just told the disciples what to do when someone in the church sinned against them. They should seek reconciliation. And in response to Jesus’ teaching, Peter asks this question. Matthew 18:21 – ²¹ Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Note carefully. The context on which the question is asked is not forgiveness to strangers. It is forgiveness to a brother. In other words, Peter is asking about people in the church. How many times should we forgive people in the church who sin against us? How many times should we forgive our brothers and sisters in Christ? And this is crucial. Because it is far easier to forgive people with whom we are not close. But it is so much harder to forgive people with whom we are close, especially our family in Christ. It is harder to forgive fellow Christians than non-Christians. Why? Because they should know better, and we expect better from them. So, how many times should we forgive our brothers and sisters in the church? This is a genuine question from which all of us wants to know the answer. Peter thinks, “Sure, forgiveness is important. But surely there is a limit to forgiveness. So, what is the limit?” And Peter comes up with a number. Seven times. And Peter is being very generous. Because the popular teaching of his day is that they should only forgive the other person 3 times. And on the fourth offence, you can unleash hell on the offender. So, Peter more than doubled the quota of his day. Seven times. Just imagine the same person in the church hurts us again and again. How many times would we forgive that person before we quit? I don’t think we would reach seven times. Peter would have thought the same. Surely, forgiving the same person seven times is more than enough.

Jesus replies, Matthew 18:22 – ²² Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.” The original language is ambiguous. Seventy-seven times can also be translated as seventy times seven, which is equal to 490. What is Jesus saying? Is he saying that we should make a checklist of how many times that person hurt us and when he or she reaches 78 or 491, then it is okay to unleash hell on the offender? No. Jesus is not doing maths. The point that Jesus is making is, “Pete, stop counting. There is no limit to forgiveness because forgiveness is the way of the Christian life. You will never outgrow forgiveness.” Because the reality is that every Christian is also a sinner. It means that we constantly sin against others, and we are constantly sinned against. We will never outgrow the need to extend forgiveness and receive forgiveness. That’s the bad news. The good news is that we have been forgiven infinitely more than we will ever forgive. And to make his point, Jesus tells this parable. The point of the parable is simple. There is no limit to forgiving our brothers and sisters in Christ since that is how we have been forgiven by God. As God forgives us again and again, so we are to forgive others again and again.

Three things that we can learn from this parable: Why we must forgive; How do we forgive; The power to forgive.

Why we must forgive

Matthew 18:23-27 – ²³ “Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. ²⁴ When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. ²⁵ And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. ²⁶ So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ ²⁷ And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.

Jesus is a master storyteller. He often uses a parable in his teaching. But we must remember that a parable is used to emphasise a point that Jesus wants to underline. We should not try to find meaning behind every detail. The detail in the parable is given to emphasise the main point of the parable. If we try to find meaning behind every detail, the parable loses its meaning. It breaks down. And we end up missing the point that Jesus is making. So, bear in mind that this parable is given in the light of Peter’s question on forgiving our brothers and sisters in Christ.

The parable goes like this. One day, a king meets with all his servants to get a financial report on his kingdom. And the king finds out that there is a missing fund, and he calls the servant who is in charge of it. And the amount of money that is missing is 10,000 talents. And this is a huge debt. 1 talent is equal to 6000 denarii. One denarius is a day’s wages. Let’s put it in our today’s context. Let say that you earn $50,000 a year. It means that you earn $137 a day. So, one talent is equivalent to 6000 days of work, which is $822,000. And times that by 10,000, we get $8,2 billion. How am I doing? I’m not an accountant but I think I did alright. The amount of money that is missing is huge. We do not know the reason behind this debt. Did the servant steal the money? Or did he misuse it? Or is it a failed investment? We do not know. And it does not matter how rich a king is, this debt could bring his kingship and kingdom into big trouble.

So, the king demands the servant to pay the debt. But he could not. It is too much. It is an unpayable debt. The king then orders to sell the servant, his family and everything he has as a payment. By the way, the debt is so much that selling him, his family and his possessions are no way near sufficient to pay the debt. The servant is simply being punished for his offence. This is not reimbursing the king for what he had lost. The debt is impossible to be paid. But then the servant gets on his knees and beg the king for mercy. He says, “My king, have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.” Now, this is a desperate plea. He is asking the king to have patience and give him time to pay for everything. But there is no way he can pay the debt. He is bankrupt and it is impossible to pay the debt. But he is ready to promise anything to save him and his family. And I love what happens next. Out of pity, the king forgives him of his debt and releases him. Wow. This is pure grace. The king gives him more than what he asked. The servant asked for time, the king gives him freedom. And there is no condition attached. There is no monthly payment to be made. The king frees him of his enormous debt once and for all. What the servant wants is a patient king. What he gets is a merciful king. How would you feel if someone forgives your debt of $8,2 billion? You would be on cloud nine. The heavy burden on your shoulder is gone. You would be skipping with joy. Which makes what happens next very disturbing.

Matthew 18:28-30 – ²⁸ But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ ²⁹ So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ ³⁰ He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt.

Just right after he is forgiven of his $8,2 billion debt, he finds another of the king’s servants who owes him money. This guy owes him 100 denarii, which is 100 days wages. If we do the math, it is equivalent to $13,700. Can we agree that this is not a small debt? It is a significant debt. I would be worried if someone in the church owes me that much and do not pay me back. So, it is normal to be concerned about it. But this debt is repayable with time. It is not impossible to pay back. And this servant just had his debt of $8,2 billion removed. But when he sees the fellow servant, he seizes him, and he chokes him. He gets very violent for only 100 denarii. And look at what happens next. The fellow servant gets on his knees and begs for mercy. He says, “Have patience with me, and I will pay you.” Does it sound familiar? It is the very same words he used toward the king. The only difference is that this debt is payable with time. So, what would he do with this fellow servant who owed him? We would think that he would gladly forgive the debt, right? Because as much as 100 denarii are, it is incomparable with 10,000 talents. It is only logical for him to forgive the debt of the fellow servant. But instead of showing mercy, he does the opposite. He put the man in prison until he pay the debt. He not only refused to forgive the debt, but he also refused the plea to give more time to pay the debt. To which we say, “This is irrational. This does not make any logical sense. What are 100 denarii to 10,000 talents anyway? The servant should show mercy.” But listen. This is exactly how we look to God when we refuse to forgive others. Let’s continue.

Matthew 18:31-34 – ³¹ When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. ³² Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. ³³ And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ ³⁴ And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt.

Other servants see what happens and they are greatly saddened by what they witness. So, they tell the king about it. And when the king heard about it, he is mad. He summons the servant and says, “You wicked servant. Did I not forgive you of all your debt? How much did you owe me? $8,2 billion. And you asked me for time to pay me back. But I knew that there is absolutely no way you can pay me back. It is an unpayable debt. And I showed mercy to you. You begged me for time, I gave you freedom. And should you not have mercy on your fellow servant who owed you $13,700? It is nothing compared to what you owed me. But what did you do? You refused to show mercy and put him in prison. Are you kidding? A forgiven man should act like a forgiven man. You should forgive him. And because you did not forgive him, I will put you in prison until you pay every single cent of $8,2 billion you owe me.” In other words, this man will never get out of prison. He is stuck in prison to his death because he refused to forgive.

And pay attention to verse 35. This is the key to the parable. Jesus doesn’t usually tell the meaning of the parable he tells. But this time, he does. I think the meaning of the parable is clear already. But Jesus wants to make sure that we have no excuse for not understanding the point of the parable. Matthew 18:35 – ³⁵ So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.” OUCH! This is a strong warning from Jesus. Remember that he is talking to his disciples. Jesus is not talking to strangers. He is talking to Christians. He is talking to us. Christians are those who already received forgiveness from God. And those who have been forgiven by God should forgive others. And if we do not forgive our brothers and sisters in Christ from our hearts, our Heavenly Father will not forgive us as well. “Hold on a second Yos. Are you saying that we can lose our forgiveness, hence our salvation?” No, I am not saying that. The rest of the New Testament is clear that we cannot lose our salvation. But this is a wake-up call to many Christians. Listen. There is an unbreakable link between God’s forgiveness of us and our forgiveness of others. If we say that we have received forgiveness from God, but we are unable to forgive others from our hearts, something is wrong. If we say with our mouth that we forgive them, but we hold a grudge toward them in our hearts, something is off. Let me put it another way. Our difficulty in forgiving others is a reflection of our difficulty in receiving God’s forgiveness. If we are not able to forgive others, it shows that we have not been forgiven by God. There is no such thing as unforgiving Christians. If we have God’s forgiveness in us, forgiveness will flow out of us. Forgiving others is one of the surest ways we know that we have been forgiven by God. This is why forgiveness is absolutely crucial in the life of Christians. Which lead us to the next point. How do we forgive? I think we have the answer from looking at what the king does.

How do we forgive

Matthew 18:27 – ²⁷ And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.

There are three steps to forgiveness. First, take pity. The word pity means to show compassion toward someone else misery. It means to find commonalities instead of differences with the person who hurts you. It does not mean we downplay the significance of the pain we experienced. It’s the other way around. We acknowledge that the damage has been done in the relationship. We don’t turn blind eyes to it. Because what happens if we downplay the pain is that we forgive with our mouths but not with our hearts. And this kind of forgiveness is superficial and useless. But to show pity is to acknowledge the pain but choose to see the best in others instead of the worst. Whenever someone wrongs us, our natural response is to create a caricature of them in our minds. Let me explain what I mean. If you ever have a cartoonist draw a picture of you, you know they are an expert at making people look ridiculous. So, what they do to make someone looks funny is that they take one part of the face and they make it huge. They exaggerate certain features. So, if you have big eyes, they make them even bigger. If you have a large nose, they make it an extra-large nose. And it is funny. Whenever someone wrongs us, this is exactly what we do in our hearts. We take the wrong they did to us, and we make it big. We exaggerate it. And we make other things about them small to emphasise on the wrong. We see them as caricatures.

So here is what we do. Let’s say we are driving and someone recklessly cut into our lane. What do we say? “Such an idiot. What a dumb driver.” Right? What we do is we make the offence big and see that person only as an idiot. We ignore other things about that person. In our eyes, he or she is just a dumb driver. But let’s say we cut into other’s lane recklessly. What happens? Well, it is different. We say, “I might cut into your lane, but I am not an idiot. I am not a dumb driver. There are valid and explainable reasons why I suddenly cut into your lane. It’s not as straightforward as it seems.” Can you see what happened? We think of ourselves in the best light possible. We think of ourselves as a whole person with real issues and challenging circumstances. But not others. We see them in the worst light possible and we hammer them. We see them simply as idiots. We want others to see us in the best possible light, but we see others in their worst. But to show compassion is to deliberately say, “I am no different from that person. It is possible that I could have done the exact same thing in their situation. I am no better than them.” And this is important. We can only stay angry at someone if we continue to think and feel that we are better than them. But the moment we level the playing ground, we lost many reasons to stay angry at them. That’s the first step.

Second, forgive the debt. Here is something that we must understand about forgiveness. There is no such thing as free forgiveness. The damage is done. Someone must pay. In this parable, the first servant owed $8,2 billion. And when the king forgives the debt, it is not free. The king pays for it. The king absorbs the debt himself. When someone wrongs us, it creates an emotional debt of pain. We feel it. And someone must pay. And we have two options. First, we make the other person pay. And we are experts at this. How do we make them pay? We make them pay by insulting them. We are harsh toward them. We withhold our friendship. We intentionally do things that we know would hurt them. Or we do it indirectly. How? We bring up their name and their story as a prayer request to others. We tell another person, “I really don’t want to say this, but I don’t want you to get hurt. So let me warn you about this person.” We tell many people about what this person did to us, putting ourselves as the victim. We ruin their reputation behind their back. Or we tell the person who hurts us, “I am not going to take revenge on you because I am better than you. I don’t want to go down to your level.” We can come up with hundreds of creative ways to hurt the other person directly or indirectly. The point is, when we inflict pain on those who hurt us, it makes us feel better. In fact, we don’t even have to be the one who does it. If we see someone else hurt them, we feel better already. We say that they get what they deserved. Am I right?

But here is the irony. By feeling better, we actually become worse. What happens is that the more we indulge in seeing their pain, the more we are imprisoned in bitterness. I have seen this play out again and again. Let me give you an example. Let’s say there is a father who refused to discipline his children. It doesn’t matter how wild his children behave, he refused to go hard on them. I mean, his children are nightmares. They are literally creating chaos everywhere and their dad does nothing. All he ever said to them is, “Kids, stop it. Don’t do it again next time.” And to our curiosity, we ask him, “Why do you never discipline your children? Aren’t you worried about their future?” And he looks at us and says, “I will never discipline my children. I will never make the same mistake as my dad. He always disciplined me. He hit me hard every time I made a mistake and he never let me do anything I wanted. I will not do that to my kids.” Do you see what happened? In his mind, he is beating his dad. His dad did not let him do anything he wanted so he let his children do whatever they want. He thinks that he is free. But he is not. He is in the prison of unforgiveness. He is not thinking clearly. He does not ask, “What’s good for my children? How can I raise them best?” All he cares about is not repeating the mistake his dad did. It is his payback to his dad. But in doing so, he is hurting his children. We must get this. The more we make the other person pay the debt, the more imprisoned we are in bitterness. The short term satisfaction of seeing them in pain is making us worse.

So, what’s the other option? Someone must pay the debt. And we might not like this other option, but it is the only option that frees us from our prison. The second option is to absorb the debt ourselves. And let me tell you, it hurts. It is painful. Many years ago, I did something terrible. At the time, we were still renting a hall in the city for our church service, and we had to pack all our equipment every Sunday night. And during one pack up, I accidentally hit Kimmy’s guitar and it fell. And at the time, it was quite new. I felt horrible and I quickly apologized to her. And Kimmy told me, “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.” She was very merciful toward me. But later she told me it was because she had no choice. I was her pastor and she felt bad if she made me pay for it. The perk of being a pastor. I received free forgiveness. But it was not free. Kimmy paid for it. She absorbed the debt and made payment herself. And I am sure it was not a one-time payment. I am sure that the scene of me causing her guitar to fall continued to haunt her for a while. But every time she wanted payback, she made a down payment herself. And it hurt. Every time she wanted to slander me, she held her tongue. It hurt. Every time she wanted to cut me to pieces on her mind, she reminded herself of the good things I have done. It hurt. Every time she wanted to be cold to me, she tried to love me instead. It hurt. Why did it hurt? Because she was making payments. And eventually, she no longer needed to make payment. She is free. She is out of prison. It might take weeks, months, or years, depending on the size of the wrong. But as we continue to extend forgiveness, we are being set free. Forgiveness hurts. It is a form of suffering. But it frees us from the prison of bitterness. When we make the other person pay, we are trapped in prison. But when we absorb the debt, we are free.

Third, release the debtor. And this is probably the most controversial step. Because it feels like injustice to let the debtor go free. It feels wrong. Isn’t it? And here’s what people often say. “I need to pursue justice so that they learn their lesson and do not make the same mistake to other people. I don’t want anyone else to experience what I experienced.” And there is some truth to it. But listen. I am not saying we should not pursue justice. There is a time that we must confront other people sin. The Bible is clear on that. We will talk about this in a few weeks. But this is what we must understand. Unless we do the first and second step well, unless we take time to show compassion and absorb the emotional debt ourselves, until we release the debtor, there will be no justice. It will be vengeance. Because if we do not release them, what we want is not what’s good for them. What we want is payback. Can you see? When we pursue justice without first letting the debtor go, we are actually doing it for our own sake, not for their sake. We can sugarcoat it however we want. We can say we are doing it for other people’s sake, but we know we are not. We are trying to hurt them. We are making them pay the debt. And let me tell you, the person who wrongs us can usually tell the difference. They know whether we are pursuing justice for our own sake or their sake. So, this is the irony. Until we have taken the time to understand the person who hurt us, until we have absorbed the debt ourselves, until we can let that person go, there will be no justice. It is simply payback. It is only when we have truly forgiven the person that we can pursue justice when necessary.

So, these are the three steps to forgiveness. Pity, forgive and release. Do you see how easy this is? I am sure all of you are eager to apply it straight away. Go home and do it. No, it is not easy at all. In fact, we should be asking, “How do we do this? It is impossible.” Not when we have experienced the mercy of the true King. Let’s move on to my last point.

The power to forgive

Get this right. Only the gospel can enable us to forgive from our hearts. There is no other solution. All other solution is superficial. It does not deal with the heart. But what is it about the gospel that enables us to forgive from our hearts? There are two things that we must consider. First, consider the debt we owed God. When Jesus tells this parable, he does not want us to primarily identify ourselves with the king. The king in this parable represents God. Who are we in the parable? We are the servant who owed 10,000 talents. We are the offender who desperately needs mercy. And this is the truth about all of us. We owe God 10,000 talents because of our sin. We have an unpayable debt. There is absolutely no way we can pay the debt. We can work as hard as we can for the rest of our lives, and it still amounts to nothing. God could have given us eternity to pay the debt. And we barely pay a fraction of our debt. No amount of work and time can free us from our debt. Our debt is incalculable. So first, we must consider the debt we owed God. We have to feel the severity and hopelessness of our situation.

But second, consider what it cost God to forgive us. There is no such thing as free forgiveness. Someone must pay the debt. And we cannot possibly do it. So, what did God do? God took pity on us. He showed compassion on us, and he stoop to our level. Jesus left the throne of Heaven and became us. And Jesus absorbed the debt himself. Jesus knew what it would cost him. He knew that the only way to pay our debt of sin is for him who knew no sin to become sin and died on our behalf. He knew that it would cost him his life and he did it anyway. That is why at the cross, Jesus cried out, “Tetelastai. It is finished.” Jesus declared at the cross that the debt has been paid in full. And the payment for the debt was his own blood. So now, everyone who put their faith in Jesus received the mercy of God. Not because God is soft on sin but because the debt has been paid. Justice is served. Jesus paid it all to the last cent. All of us are a servant who acts like a king to condemn our fellow servants. But Jesus is a king who became a servant to save his fellow servants.

So how can we have the power to forgive? The power to forgive comes from seeing the debt we owed God and delighting in the forgiveness Jesus paid for us. To the degree we can see our debt and forgiveness, to that degree we can forgive others. We will never be able to forgive others debt toward us unless we see Jesus pay our infinite debt toward God. The debt others owe us is only a very tiny fraction of what we owed God. And if Jesus can pay the infinite debt we owed God, we can pay the smaller debt others owed us. The only way we can stop choking one another is if we are melted by the beauty of the king who became a servant to pay our debts.

And do not take this lightly. This is a strong warning for all of us. Because according to Jesus, a failure to extend forgiveness to others is a sign of failure in receiving forgiveness from God. When we fail to forgive others, it is because we have made their wrong toward us look very big and we have made our wrong toward God look very small. And this has an eternal consequence. If we refused to forgive others, we do not have God’s forgiveness. We are in the prison of bitterness. We are only free when we extend forgiveness to those who hurt us. So here is my question and I am done. Who is it that you need to forgive today? Stop putting yourself in prison and break free by the power of the gospel. Let the gospel melt your heart and enable you to extend the forgiveness you have received from God toward them. Let’s pray.

Discussion questions:

1. In your experience, why is forgiveness extremely hard?
2. Matthew 18:35 – So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart. What is the relationship between God’s forgiveness of us and our forgiveness of others?
3. Why is it very hard for us to choose to see the best in the person who hurt us?
4. By default, we want to make the other person pay the debt. What did you often do to make the other person pay the debt and why is it only making you worse?
5. Can you think of a time where you pursue justice without forgiving and releasing the person first? What happened?
6. Think of a person who has hurt you. How does the gospel enable you to forgive that person?