01 Jun Would you date you? – June 15
I recently read a book titled, ‘The new rules for love, sex, and dating’ by Andy Stanley. In this book, Andy asks one question that got me thinking: “Are you the person the person you’re looking for is looking for?” Ha! What a clever play on words and what a brilliant question.
Singles, I think we spend a lot of time looking for the right person. Granted that there is no such thing as ‘the one,’ we hope to find ‘the second one.’ You and I are smart enough to know that the one cannot exist. It is logically and mathematically impossible. The one might exist once upon a time but it only takes one person to miss his/her ‘the one’ to create domino fall. Your chance to find ‘the one’ today is as slim as the possibility of you living on the sun.
As Christians, we look for the right person instead of the one. By right I mean those who meet the standards that we have based on the Bible and our personal preferences. There is nothing wrong with that and you should continue doing so. But when is the last time you turn the equation around and ask the question above to yourself? If you happen to meet the right one tonight, would that person want to be with you? I think for most of us, the answer would be no. We are too busy looking for the right one and forget that the other party is also looking for the right one. Would you fit the standards of your right person?
I’m not trying to be mean here but I think it’s not fair for us to expect the other person to be everything we desire them to be but neglect the fact that they also have a list! Let me rephrase the question – ‘Would you date you?’ If the answer is no, then something is off. Singles, I think we ought to re-prioritise our time and effort. Stanley puts it this way – “You must become intentional about becoming the person you’re looking for is looking for.” The key word is intentional.
Everyone has their own baggage that they carry into relationship. Granted you will never find a baggage-less person. I’m not trying to advocate perfection here. But I do want all you singles to start working on your baggage now! Don’t think that when you meet the right person, your baggage will automatically become less. No! In fact, it will double. You will have to carry yours and share theirs at the same time. So rather than focusing on searching for the right person, why don’t we prioritise on becoming the right person? Is it possible? Not on your own. That’s why you need community and godly leaders in your life. That’s why we go on our knees desperately seeking the Holy Spirit to help us see our shortcomings and to see Jesus. And as we behold the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ, we are ‘becoming’ the right person from one degree of glory to another. (2 Cor 3:18, reword). So when we meet the right person, we are ready.