26 Feb Healing Psalms: Spiritual Depression

Psalm 42:1-11

As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. ² My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God? ³ My tears have been my food day and night, while they say to me all the day long, “Where is your God?” ⁴ These things I remember, as I pour out my soul: how I would go with the throng and lead them in procession to the house of God with glad shouts and songs of praise, a multitude keeping festival. ⁵ Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation ⁶ and my God. My soul is cast down within me; therefore I remember you from the land of Jordan and of Hermon, from Mount Mizar. ⁷ Deep calls to deep at the roar of your waterfalls; all your breakers and your waves have gone over me. ⁸ By day the Lord commands his steadfast love, and at night his song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life. ⁹ I say to God, my rock: “Why have you forgotten me? Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?” ¹⁰ As with a deadly wound in my bones, my adversaries taunt me, while they say to me all the day long, “Where is your God?” ¹¹ Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.

What do you do when God feels distant and absent? What do you do when you seek God, but God is nowhere to be found? What do you do when you feel like you are alone, under attack, and God does not care? What do you do when you feel abandoned and forgotten by God? Have you been there? If you haven’t, you will. It is the problem of spiritual depression. This is a more common problem than we think. That is why it is very crucial we know what it is and how to deal with it. When it comes to physical growth and physical health, we have two kinds of practices. We have trainers and we have doctors. Trainers are those who stretch our limits to make us stronger. While doctors are those who help us get back on our feet when we are sick or injured. They do not function in the same way. And if we get them mixed up, we are in trouble. For example, let’s say you have really bad flu. The cure for flu is rest and medicine. But instead of resting, you go, “Resting is for the weak. What I need is to strengthen my body and increase my immune system. So I’ll go to work as usual, and then I’ll have a nice meal with my coworkers for lunch, and then I’ll go to the gym to strengthen my body after work.” What do you think will happen? Instead of getting better, you might end up in a hospital. Because what you need is not strengthening your body. What you need is sleep. Same thing spiritually. There are spiritual disciplines that act like trainers and some that act like doctors. To differentiate between the two is very crucial. In the case of having bad flu, training the body does cure the sickness but makes it worse.

Tonight, we are going to look at a psalm that deals with spiritual depression. Let me give you the context first. It is very likely that Psalms 42 and 43 are originally one Psalm. In the Hebrew Scripture, Psalm 43 has no heading. And many ancient texts put them as one psalm. The repeated refrain in both psalms also suggests that they are actually one psalm. But tonight, we are just going to look at Psalm 42. This psalm is written by the sons of Korah. We don’t have much information on the sons of Korah other than that they were a group of priests who were assigned to the ministry of singing in the temple. Today’s equivalence would be the praise and worship team. So, this psalm is written by one of the praise and worship team who felt like he or she was forgotten by God. This is one of the most practical psalms on what to do when we don’t feel God.

I separated this sermon into three parts: The problem; The causal; The cure.

The problem

Psalm 42:1-2 – As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. ² My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God?

The psalmist begins by saying, “As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God.” I guess we can turn this line into a cute line. “Babe I miss you like a deer pants for water.” But this is not a cute line to tell another person that we miss them. A panting deer is more than just a thirsty deer. It is a deer dying of thirst. This is a line of desperation. Imagine being thirsty under the scorching heat of the sun, looking for water but finding none. It is not a pleasant experience; it is a painful experience. And this is what the psalmist feels. He is in deep agony and excruciating pain. Why? He says, “My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.” In other words, he is saying, “I want to experience God, but I can’t. I am dying of thirst for God, but I cannot find God. Where is God?” Note what’s happening. It’s not that he stops believing in God, but he can’t sense God. He lost the relational experience of God. The thought about God that comfort and strengthen him is not there anymore. He does not lose the belief in God; he lost the reality of God. And he is crying out to God because of it. The psalmist is experiencing a divided soul. On one hand, he knows he needs God. He is desperate for God. He is seeking God. For him, God is not a luxury; God is a necessity. His soul needs God as much as his body needs water. On the other hand, he can’t find God. He can’t feel God. And he is dying for God. He knows that God loves him in his mind. But he does not feel God in his heart. Are you familiar with what the psalmist is talking about? I don’t know about you but this is something that I am very familiar with.

There are times in the book of Psalms when this happens because of guilt. Some passages communicate sin as the reason for this condition. For example, Psalm 51. Psalm 51 is written out of David’s repentance heart for the sin he committed. He slept with Bathsheba and murdered her husband, Uriah. He sinned against God and he cried out to God to restore to him the joy of God’s salvation. So, it is possible for us to experience spiritual depression because of our sins. But that is not what happens in psalm 42. We find no reason in this psalm to suggest that sin has anything to do with the condition the psalmist is in. Our natural tendency when we experience spiritual depression is to ask the question, “What did I do wrong?” We live with the assumption that as long as we stick to our daily spiritual disciplines, there can be nothing wrong. So, when we meet people who are going through spiritual depression, we would ask questions like, “Have you prayed? Have you read your Bible? Have you fast? Have you served in the church? Oh, you haven’t. That’s probably why. You have to start serving. We need more teachers in the children’s ministry. Join the children’s ministry and you’ll be well.” We tend to be very moralistic. Or, the other approach is to say, “Do you know what’s your problem? It’s your lack of faith. What you need is more faith. If you have more faith in God, you won’t experience spiritual depression.” We tend to be very judgemental. But here is what we must get. Spiritual depression can happen even if we did everything right. Spiritual depression can happen to anyone, and it will happen to everyone. It doesn’t matter who we are. We can be heroes of faith and it does not exempt us from spiritual depression.

How do I know? Look at Elijah. Elijah was the prophet God used to turn the heart of the people of Israel back to God. Elijah triumphed over the priests of Baal and led a national revival. But do you know what happened right after the great triumph? Elijah was plunged into emotional depression. Queen Jezebel threatened his life and he ran to the wilderness. And in the wilderness, he prayed, “God, I have enough of this. Just let me die. Kill me right now.” Elijah knew he had no right to take his own life. So, he asked God to kill him. He was saying to God, “God, I don’t want to be in this situation anymore. I have nothing left. I am completely out of fuel. Just end everything for me right now.” And Elijah was not an ordinary Christian. Elijah led one of the greatest revivals in Israel’s history. He is at the top of the list of heroes of faith. And if Elijah can experience spiritual depression, what makes us think that we are immune from it? It does not matter who we are, we will experience spiritual depression at some point. That is why we need to know how to deal with it. If we do not treat it rightly, the problem will only get worse. What starts off as not feeling God can lead to not believing in God.

The causal

There are a few conditions in this psalm that seems to relate to his spiritual depression. I am sure there are many other things that can trigger spiritual depression that is not listed in this psalm. But I think it is helpful to see some of the specific triggers that caused the psalmist to experience spiritual depression. So, let’s look at some of the specific causes and then I will show you the root cause.

First, change in the community. Psalm 42:4,6 – ⁴ These things I remember, as I pour out my soul: how I would go with the throng and lead them in procession to the house of God with glad shouts and songs of praise, a multitude keeping festival. ⁶ My soul is cast down within me; therefore I remember you from the land of Jordan and of Hermon, from Mount Mizar. We can see from verse 4 that the psalmist used to live near the temple in the southern part of Judah and he would worship at the temple. But for some unknown reason, verse 6 tells us that he is now in the land of Jordan, which is in the northern part of Judah. He is now far from the temple and his previous community. Here is what we must get. There is a difference between personal worship and corporate worship, and we must have both. We live in a very individualistic culture that believes that we can grow in our relationship with God on our own. Yes, we can. We can grow through our intimate individual moments with God. The Bible does teach the importance of personal worship. It is through personal worship that we get to know God intimately.

But it doesn’t mean we can neglect corporate worship. We are made to grow together in a community. We are social beings, and we need each other to experience more of God. I have seen this happen a lot. Where people who were highly involved in our church, went back to Indonesia and became stagnant in their walk with God. Or it’s the other way around. They were highly involved in their church in Indonesia, moved to Sydney, and became stagnant in their walk with God. Why? One of the possibilities is that they do not have a personal relationship with God. Maybe what they experienced in their previous church is simply a second-hand experience and knowledge. It is very possible. But it is also very possible that they fall into spiritual dryness because they lose their community. They don’t have anyone to talk to about their spiritual walk. They don’t have anyone to pray and study the Bible with. They miss the spiritual community they had, and they long for it. But they cannot find it and it leads them to spiritual dryness. We must not forget that we are social beings. Unless we are connected to God with all our beings, including socially, God won’t feel real to us. That’s why in the Old Testament God appointed many festivals and celebrations. The point of those celebrations was for all of God’s people to come together and strengthen, encourage, support, and rebuke one another. We need both personal and corporate worship.

Second, unexpected circumstances. Psalm 42:3,10 – ³ My tears have been my food day and night, while they say to me all the day long, “Where is your God?” ¹⁰ As with a deadly wound in my bones, my adversaries taunt me, while they say to me all the day long, “Where is your God?” One of the reasons behind the psalmist’s depression is the taunting of the people. People are questioning him, “Where is your God?” We don’t really know what happened, but we find out from verse 9 that it is very personal to the psalmist. Psalm 42:9 – ⁹ I say to God, my rock: “Why have you forgotten me? Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?” We don’t ask God this question unless something happened in our circumstances that doesn’t seem fit with God’s character. It is the kind of question we ask when bad things happen to good people. It looks to people around him as if God has abandoned him. And the psalmist feels the same way. So, the question goes like this. “If God is your God, if God is really for you, why is this happening? Why did God allow you to go through it?” And it is not only a question from the people around him, but also from within. The psalmist himself is asking, “God, why have you forgotten me?”

And look at verse 7. Psalm 42:7 – ⁷ Deep calls to deep at the roar of your waterfalls; all your breakers and your waves have gone over me. So, the Psalmist not only experience one wave of trouble but he experiences wave after wave of trouble. And he is overwhelmed by them. He has no control over the situation, and he feels powerless. I remember having a conversation with my friend and he asked me, “Yos, why does my life get harder after I decided to follow Jesus? When I was a casual churchgoer, my life was fine. Everything was smooth. But after I decided to get serious with my faith, after I committed to serve in the church, my life became so much harder. Nothing is smooth anymore. Why?” Have you ever felt that way? We trust God, we obey God, and we are hit by wave after wave of trouble and it is very hard to understand why. And because of it, we begin to question, “Why would God have allowed that? It does not make sense.” Unexpected circumstances can lead to spiritual depression.

Third, deprivation of physical health. Psalm 42:3 – ³ My tears have been my food day and night, while they say to me all the day long, “Where is your God?” The psalmist says that his tears have been his food day and night. In other words, he has not slept, and he has no appetite to eat. Tears are his food and tears are his sleep. These are signs of clinical depression. And it is related to his spiritual depression. Let me read to you a quote by Dr Martyn Lloyd Jones. He was a very good doctor before he became a full-time pastor. This is what he said about this psalm. “It’s difficult to draw the lines here, but some physical conditions promote depression. There are some in whose cases it is clear to me that the cause of their depression is mainly physical. On the other hand, when you are physically weak, you are more prone to attacks of spiritual discouragement and depression. If you recognize that the physical may be partly responsible for the spiritual condition and make allowances for this, you will be better able to deal with the spiritual issues.” Did you get what he said? He said that people who are physically weak are more prone to emotional struggle and spiritual discouragement. Do you know what God did when Elijah asked Him to take his life? God sent an angel to him. Do you know what the angel did? We would think that the angel would rebuke Elijah. “How dare you doubted God? Have more faith. Stop being weak.” But he didn’t. While Elijah was sleeping, the angel baked hot bread for Elijah. It is the only place in the Bible where an angel baked bread. And when he finished baking, the angel said to Elijah, “Get up and eat. You are tired. You are exhausted. You need food. Eat and then sleep some more.” So, God’s solution to Elijah’s depression was, “Have a nap and eat some hot pancakes.”

Here is what we must not miss. We cannot separate our physical well-being from our spiritual well-being. Our physical and spiritual health are more connected than we think they are. A few years ago, I talked to a friend, and he told me that after he started to exercise regularly and keep himself fit, it was a lot easier for him to find joy in God. And I thought, “Hmm, that’s interesting.” And I realised that it is true for me as well. Whenever I consistently sleep less than 7 hours, I find myself getting upset more often. It affects my emotion, and in turn, it affects my spiritual health. I get annoyed easily and I complained to God a lot. But when I have good consistent sleep and exercise regularly, it is a lot easier for me to be joyful and focus my mind on God. Listen. The Bible teaches us that our physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being are connected. We are emotional beings, so we need community. We are physical beings, so we need food and rest. We are spiritual beings, so we need truth. Christian must have all three balances, not one over the other. So maybe, what we need to battle our spiritual depression is to eat good food, and have a good sleep. Or maybe what we need is to join a community where we can talk about God and do life together. Or maybe what we need is to pray and read the Bible more.

Fourth, and this is the issue underneath all issues, misplaced hope. Psalm 42:11 – ¹¹ Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God. The Psalmist repeats this refrain three times, in 42:5, 42:11, and 43:5. He acknowledges that there is turmoil within him. He wants to experience God, he wants to feel God’s presence, but he can’t. So, he asks himself, “Soul, why are you cast down? Why am I so downcast?” And then he says to himself, “Hope in God.” Do you know what he is saying? He is saying, “The reason I am downcast is that I have put my hope in some things that are now letting me down. The reason I am like this is that I have put my hope in some things that cannot sustain. I have put my hope in the wrong place. And what I need is to put my hope in God.” Listen. More often than not, spiritual depression is a perfect time for us to examine our hearts. Because spiritual depression usually reveals false hope. In the core of our beings, we thirst for God. We want God. We are made for God. And nothing but God can satisfy us. But maybe, we have been putting our hopes in the wrong place. Maybe we thought that relationship can satisfy us. Maybe we thought that achievement can quench our thirst. Maybe we thought that having more money will make us happy. We are looking to other things for what we can only find in God. Ultimately, that’s the reason we often find ourselves thirsty and dissatisfied. It is because we need God. We were made for God and nothing but God will satisfy us. I am not saying that it is always the case. But I am saying that in times of spiritual depression, that’s a good time for us to look at what is it we really hope in. What is it that gives us significance? What are the things that we rest our hopes in? If it’s not God, then it’s time to relocate our hopes. Shift our hopes to God. That’s what the Psalmist is doing. He is not beating and blaming himself. He is doing a profound self-examination and reminding himself to put his hope in God. So, that’s some of the possible causes of spiritual depression. Now, let’s look at the cure.

The cure

There are four steps that we can learn from the psalmist on how to deal with spiritual depression. The steps are not written in the order of the text. They are all over the place. But I will list the steps in the order in which I believe they occurred.

First, be honest with God. Psalm 42:4 – ⁴ These things I remember, as I pour out my soul: how I would go with the throng and lead them in procession to the house of God with glad shouts and songs of praise, a multitude keeping festival. The first thing the psalmist does is he pours out his soul by being honest with God. This is what he is doing in this psalm. This psalm is his reflection and meditation. Let me tell you what’s ironic about this. The psalmist says, “I don’t feel God. I get nothing out of worship. I feel nothing when I come to church. I get nothing when I pray and read the Bible. That’s my problem.” But do you know what he does? He prays to God. He pours out his soul to God. This is an important principle we must not miss. When we feel like we don’t get anything out of spiritual disciplines, we must not ignore spiritual disciplines. When we feel like we don’t get anything out of coming to church, we must not miss church. When we feel like we don’t get anything out of prayer, we must pray. When we don’t get anything out of Bible reading, we must read the Bible. We must be honest with God without ignoring spiritual disciplines.

What we must not do is stay away from God because we do not feel God. It is only making it worse. “But I don’t feel anything.” That’s okay. Be honest with God about it. Tell God how much we miss Him. If we are angry at God, tell Him that we are angry at Him. If we are disappointed in God, tell Him that we are disappointed in Him. If we don’t feel God, tell Him that we don’t feel Him. Because if God is not real to us and we stay away from Him, He will stay unreal to us ten times longer than if we go to him. But if we pray to Him honestly, slowly but surely, we will start to feel God. It’s like when we wake up in the middle of the night and it is completely dark. When we first open our eyes, we can’t see anything. Then we can close our eyes and we won’t see anything. Or we can keep our eyes open for a while and they will adjust. Slowly but surely, we can see a bit of light coming through the door and we can see. And this is what we must do in spiritual darkness. We must keep our spiritual eyes open and pray to God, and we will find the darkness starts to lift. Listen. God is not afraid of our bad theology. God is not afraid of our doubts and questions. But what He wants us to do is to bring our doubts and questions to Him. So, when we don’t feel like praying at all, the first thing we must do is pray. Pray and pour out our souls before God.

Second, ask and listen. This is where we do self-examination and analyse our hopes. The psalmist asks himself the rhetorical question, “Why are you cast down, o my soul?” What he is trying to do is he is trying to analyse the problem. And when we ask ourselves this question, we need to take some time to listen to the answer. And this is hard. In the society that we live in, we have many ways to numb our depression temporarily. Rather than taking the issue head-on, we like to run to different things. Some try to deal with it by binging on Netflix, Korean dramas, or games. I am guilty of it. Some try to deal with it by excessive shopping. This time I am not just guilty, I am double guilty. Confession time. When I get depressed, I go shopping. There is something about having new stuff that makes me feel better for five minutes before getting more depressed when my credit card bill arrives. Don’t look at me like you don’t know what I am talking about. I know many of you are guilty of it. Or one that is very popular right now, some try to deal with it by going on vacation. They call it self-healing. But these cures are ineffective. We are not comfortable with moments of solitude where we ask ourselves the hard question and analyse our own hopes. It is hard. But when we do, most likely we will find at the bottom of it that we have relocated our hopes from God to something else. So, there is a shift in hope that’s happening underneath the depression. But until we take the time to ask ourselves and listen for the answer, we won’t know.

Third, remember the unchanging truth. Psalm 42:6-8 – ⁶ My soul is cast down within me; therefore I remember you from the land of Jordan and of Hermon, from Mount Mizar. ⁷ Deep calls to deep at the roar of your waterfalls; all your breakers and your waves have gone over me. ⁸ By day the Lord commands his steadfast love, and at night his song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life. Two things that the psalmist remembers. Firstly, the psalmist remembers God’s sovereignty. Even as he pours out his heart and questions God, he reminds himself that God is sovereign. He refers to his troubles as “your waterfalls; your breakers and your waves.” He reminds himself that despite he feels forgotten, God never ceases to lose control. God is intimately aware of his circumstances, and nothing happens without God’s permission. In other words, he is saying, “I know what my emotion told me. I know how I feel. But I also know who God is. He is a sovereign God, and He is in control.”

Secondly, the psalmist remembers God’s steadfast love. The word steadfast love is from the Hebrew word “chesed” which means the loyal, unconditional, unchangeable, perfect love of God. It is the love that remains unshaken when everything else is shaken. And this love is not dependent on the condition of the psalmist. This love is true and constant whether he feels it or not. So, there are two great unchanging truths we must always remember about God: God is always in control and God is always good. When we are in the midst of spiritual depression, it is very easy for us to think that somehow God has changed, somehow His promises have changed. But that’s not true. God’s love is constant and unchanging. If on a bright and sunny day, we walk down into the basement where there is no light, and we are surrounded by darkness, it would be wrong to panic and say, “The light is gone. The sun is gone.” The light still shines. The sun is going nowhere. It’s just that we happen to be in a place of darkness. Amid spiritual depression, we must remind ourselves of God’s sovereignty and God’s steadfast love.

Fourth, preach to yourself. Psalm 42:11 – ¹¹ Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God. This is the key. There is a reason why the psalmist repeats this refrain three times. Notice what he is doing. These three refrains are not prayer. He is not talking to God. Do you know whom he is talking to? Himself. He is preaching to himself. This is a lost art that all of us need to learn. I love what Martyn Lloyd Jones said. “Have you realised that most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact you are listening to yourself instead of talking to yourself?… The most important sermon you’ll ever hear is the one you preach to yourself.” Listen. There are times when we must shut up and listen as we analyse the problem. But there is also time for us to tell our souls to SHUT UP AND LISTEN. What I mean is there is a time for us to listen to what our souls have to say about our conditions. We must ask the hard question and take the time to analyse our false hopes. Before we can preach to our souls, we need to listen. Without first doing our homework on listening, we won’t have anything to preach.

Let me give you an example. As a preacher, one of the most important skills I learned to develop in my sermon preparation is the art of listening. I need to open my ear to listen to people’s problems and struggles before I can deliver a message that speaks to all of us. Otherwise, my sermon will be dry. I believe the Bible is always relevant. It is never out of date and it will never be. But I need to learn how to preach the Bible in a way that meets us where we are. And for that, I need to be a good listener. The same is also true for preaching to ourselves. We need to first listen well to our souls before we can preach to ourselves. But then there is also time to preach to ourselves. Instead of allowing our depression to talk to us constantly, we must start telling ourselves, “Self, shut up! You had your turn and now it is my turn. I will speak to you, and you will listen!” But what is it that we need to preach to ourselves? Look at what the psalmist says. He says that his soul is desperately thirsty. Unless his thirst is satisfied, he will die. But what’s amazing about his longing is that he does not long for his circumstance to get better. He does not long for life to work out the way he expected. He does not long for an escape from his enemies. He says he is desperately thirsty for the living God. It’s not wrong praying to God for relief, for answers, and for Him to intervene in our situations. But ultimately, that’s only secondary. What we need most is God. What our souls thirst for is the experience of the living God that satisfies us with His love every morning. What we need is to be sure that God is with us, and that He does not forget us.

But how we can be sure? Here is how. When we feel like we are forgotten, we have to preach to ourselves about the one who is truly forgotten on our behalf. We must preach the gospel to ourselves. Do you know what happened to Jesus at the cross? His enemies mocked him. They said, “I thought you are the Messiah. I thought you are God’s chosen one. If you are, then save yourself. If God is with you, why did He allow this to happen to you? Come down from the cross and save yourself.” Jesus experienced wave after wave of torments and mockeries. And Jesus himself felt forsaken by God. He cried out at the cross, “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” Why? Why did Jesus feel forgotten? Jesus was forgotten by God so God will never ever forget you and me. Jesus took the forsakenness that we deserved so that we may never be forsaken. This is the gospel. So now, we can preach to ourselves, “Listen, self. You may feel like you are forgotten by God, but you are never forgotten. Because at the cross, Jesus not only felt forgotten, but God turned His face away from Jesus. Jesus experienced the abandonment that you will never experience because of your faith in Jesus. Therefore, hope in God. He will not abandon you O my soul. And I shall again praise Him, my salvation and my God.” The gospel is how we know that God will never forsake us in our spiritual depression. God will never ever give up on us because Jesus was already forsaken for us. And because of Jesus, we have the assurance that nothing can separate us from God’s love. So, we must preach the gospel to ourselves amid our spiritual depression.

One last thing and I am done. If you are experiencing spiritual depression, I am not saying that if you do these four steps, then the darkness will immediately be lifted. I am not saying that. I don’t know when God is going to change your situation. But what you must not do is walk away from God. Here is what I know. I know God is faithful and He will come for you. As you continue to press on to Him, you will find that God is always there with you. So that when it is over, you will find yourself more in love with God than ever before. And in the meantime, you can sing, “I’m fighting a battle that You’ve already won. No matter what comes my way I will overcome. I don’t know what You’re doing but I know what You’ve done.” Let’s pray.

Discussion questions:

1. What struck you the most from this sermon?
2. Have you ever experienced spiritual depression? What happened and what did you do?
3. Look at the four possible causes of spiritual depression in this psalm. Which one resonates the most with you and why?
4. Look at the four steps on how to deal with spiritual depression. Which one is the hardest for you and why?
5. How does the gospel answers the problem of spiritual depression?
6. Spend time praying. Give time for each person to speak honestly to God and preach to themselves.