01 Sep When everyone expected my victory, but I lost – Sept 14

By Cathline Augustiani

The party turned into nightmare for Brazilians, the host of the World Cup 2014, when their team, whom they believe will win the tournament for the sixth time and raise the hope of the nation, was trashed into the biggest loss in Brazil’s football history with 7-1 defeat by Germany in the semi-final. The world’s newspapers described it as total world humiliation. Brazil’s players left with tears and shock. This triggered a record-breaking social media activity with 35.6 million tweets the match as people around the world couldn’t believe what just happened.

When we suffer a big failure, the aftermath is not easy at all. The burden is on our shoulder as we feel that everyone expected us to win but in fact, we failed. Rick Warren in his book, The Daniel Plan outlines 6 common negative thoughts that plunged us into despair.

• Overgeneralisation

“I’ve always failed, I won’t succeed in my study/work.”

“Everyone looks me down, no one will understand my situation.”

We use the word always, never, everyone or every time to exaggerate the situation and force ourselves to believe that we are not capable to overcome it.

• Thinking with your feelings

“I feel lonely. I feel that even God abandoned me.”

We use the word “I feel” but our feelings can lie too. We assume that our feeling is correct.

• Predicting the future

“It will be hard for me to find a job after I graduate because employers will look for people who are more capable than me.”

Predicting the worst causes unnecessary anxiety.  In Auditing world, the term “self fulfilling prophecy” is well known to refer to a predicted event that occurs because it is assumed it will happen.

• Blame

“It’s my friends’ fault that I failed the exam because they keep asking me to go out during exam week.”

Whenever we begin a sentence with “It’s your fault that I….” we make ourselves a victim of circumstances and make us powerless to change our behaviour.

• Denial

“I have plenty of time to study. I can only study effectively a night before the exam anyway.”

“Most of my friends haven’t secured a job anyway, I think I am OK, we are all in the same boat.”

• Focusing on the negative

“I have given my 200% effort but my friend is the one who get the promotion, I’m a complete failure.”

The best time is NOW to start developing your mental discipline and turn your negative thinking patterns into positive, accurate and wise thinking. Positive thinking leads to positive changes in our brain to help us get out of difficult times. Challenge your negative thoughts by finding and declaring the truth and rely on God’s promises.  Try to shift your attention and focus not to the painful memories but to the things you are grateful in your life.