01 Jan The porn epidemic

By: Poppy Ivone

Many adults are unaware of how pervasive pornography has become or the nature of the online material young people see these days. When one thinks about porn exposure, we usually default to the teenage years. Yet the reality is children as young as 8 and 9 years of age are coming across sexually explicit material on the internet, either accidentally by incorrectly spelling a search word or out of curiosity through googling a ‘hilarious’ word. Either way, the ease with which porn can be accessed is alarming. By 11 years old, statistics say there is a very strong chance our children have seen it and I’m not talking about just nudity. This can cause great distress and is potentially harmful as they are not developmentally ready to view such graphic material. Pornography therefore has become a parenting issue we can’t afford to ignore. This quote sums it up, “Porn …it’s a case of WHEN, not IF they come across it”.

Yet it is important to remember that we cannot keep our children protected in a bubble. As they get older, we will not be able to shield them from the things they are curious about. So while practical measures such as applying filters, using devices in open and shared areas, and monitoring our children’s social media presence are all useful, the most powerful filter is really the person themselves. Our responsibility is to balance protecting with empowering our children, to equip them with the tools to make the right decisions even when we are not there. To help them see that they have a choice and once they have seen something, it can’t be unseen. To understand the weight of this verse: “Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eyes are good, your whole body also is full of light. But when they are bad, your body also is full of darkness.” – Luke 11:34.

Experts warn about the common mistake parents make by thinking they could address this complicated issue on an as-needed basis instead of planting the seeds when they are little. So talk soon. Talk often. Don’t worry about getting it perfectly right in one big conversation. It’s about lots of little age-appropriate conversations over the years about the hidden negative messages in media, music, fashion and advertising that they see everyday. Research shows that young people trust their parents, especially mothers, most regarding sexual matters. And what if things happen? Don’t overreact. It is important for them to know you understand that things they may come across aren’t all good, online and offline. That they can talk with you about anything they feel uncomfortable or confused about. That you are there for them.

Father God, enable us train our children in the way they should go so even when they are old, they will not depart from it. Help us remember that, amidst our faults and failings, they are ultimately Yours and that nothing can separate them from Your love. AMEN.

1. Useful TIPS:

• To prevent accidental exposure, consider configuring your search engine for “Safe search.” You can do that within Google, but as easier option is to use SafeKids.com Child Safe Search page that’s powered by Google. Yahoo also has a safe search setting as does Microsoft’s Bing.
• Create individual logins, passwords and security settings for each family member.
• The Federal Government’s new e-safety website has great tips from https://www.esafety.gov.au/

2. Some figures state the average children are exposed to about 5,000 of highly sexualised images in mainstream media, i.e. raunchy music videos, by the time they are 5, which then shape their perception of how girls, in particular, should look like.