01 Feb Courtship to Marriage

by Jeffry Oscar

Our world recognizes that as relationship progresses from “Courtship” à “Marriage” à “Marriage with kids”, the relationship starts to deteriorate between the two lovebirds. Many believe as it progresses from “Courtship” to “Marriage with Kids”, fight starts to take place and one becomes less satisfied with their partner. As a result, people wished that they could rewind to “Courtship” period, where perhaps most exciting and joyful moments are created.

So all the fun is mostly at Courtship or even Pre-Courtship (Translation: PDKT), OR is it?

Hearing all the saddening relationship stories in other people’s life led me to believe that fights are unavoidable in a relationship and our closest one (i.e. our partners) will be the one that inflict most pain to us. Unfortunately, we cannot escape from it as that is how the world works.

One day, I started to ponder why there are also couples who seems to love each other all the way into their old age (Ps: they can still disagree with each other at times). This notion of “Fun is only at the beginning of courtship” seems immune to them. Then, I started to realise that most of the good love stories wasn’t being told to the world (I guess people who have a wonderful relationship does not tell much of their side of stories compared to those in the bad one).

Having a privilege in speaking to some of them, here are some of the secrets:

1. Continue to pursue her and try to make her smile, even after you are married. Continue to appreciate and treasure his effort in loving you (as you would during courtship), even though he is now your husband.
2. There is no point in proving that we are better or smarter than our partner. Better off, show people in your surrounding where factually our partner is better than us in some way (e.g. he is a better cook than me, she is more diligent than me).
3. Create your own love story! The quality of love does not being determine by how many times the “World-Approved” romantic gesture appears on social media. If watching “TV Series” and laughing together on the couch is your love story, then so be it for you. It might be as memorable for both of you as other couple who stroll down the road of Paris in their honeymoon.
4. Love should not be driven by emotion only; it has to be intentional.
5. Those who truly grasp the depth of how much they are loved and forgiven by Christ tend to be more forgiving and loving towards other people in their surroundings, even more so to their own partner.