01 Sep White Lies? – Sept 13

By Ebnu Wiyono

Admit it: all of us must have lied in our life. And most of us lie because there are reasons behind it, and a lot of time we love calling that kind of situation as: white lies.

What exactly white lies are?

If I can describe it in a simple way, white lies are those untruths which we tell in order to minimize harm, embarrassment or distress. One study found that people tell two or three lies every 10 minutes. According to the research done by Dr. Aric Sigman, the two most popular white lies are: Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus.

Why do we tell white lies?

Many factors, such as: avoiding distress, to protect ourselves and other people, maintain relationship, to put off discomfort or harm that will result in telling the truth and etc. Research suggests that people who deceive themselves tend to be happier than people who do not. In addition of that, people who lie frequently are viewed as friendlier and more amiable than people who do not.

What impacts does it have for me?

Lies add up. The more we know that someone is not telling us the truth, the less trustworthy they are. We can argue that a lie done to make someone else feel better is relatively acceptable, but a lie is still a lie. There are no differences between ‘real lies’ and white lies. However, we are a weak human that will always lies.

Then what should we do?

In the end, we need to be honest and yet, smart. If the truths that we need to tell are tough truths, wait until it is the right time to tell it. Delaying the news are not lying, if it is for other people’s benefits. People who often lie, usually put their identity in other’s approval of them. But our identity does not lie on men’s approval, and by being honest to one another, we show how we love one another.“Honesty is the first chapter of the book wisdom.”―Thomas Jefferson