01 Oct A Different Kind of Woman – Oct 13
By Deborah Sherlly Yusuf
The world of dating/courting can be oh-so-very confusing. For so many times we are faced with the “he likes me, he likes me not” kind of situation. I’m not an expert, but with what I have experienced, let me give you some tips to avoid the unnecessary case of broken heart. Boys, I apologise, this is for the girls, but I suggest you keep on reading for your own good.
Never express your interest first
Call me old-fashioned but I believe a girl should never be the one that’s putting her heart on the front line. As frustrating as it can be sometimes, especially when you have been close friends for quite some time, I advise you to hold your tongue. If needed, then pull back slowly and kindly. If a relationship is what he’s after then let him be a man, let him initiate it. I think all girls ought to treat themselves with dignity and such high self-respect that men would think a hundred times before they fool around with you, or, courageously offer their love and commitment. But please bear in mind that dignity and self-respect is not the same as arrogance. Arrogance undermines others, but dignity and self-respect value self and others as highly and equally.
Just because he is nice, it does not mean he’s interested
Don’t assume that when a guy is treating you nicely that he’s interested to develop a relationship with you. There are so many guys who are genuinely kind and are naturally sweet-talkers. When they offer to drive you home or buy you coffee, or send you a happy valentine’s message on Valentine’s Day, never assume. Even when he initiates online chatting of some sort, please don’t jump ahead. He may be in the process of observing, to see if you’re the type of wife that he’s looking for. But unless he expresses interest, and willing to commit in a relationship with you, do not ever assume. There have been a few cases where a guy has expressed interest, but not ready for a relationship. If you come across this situation, I’d say ignore him. Expression of interest alone is not enough. He has to back it up with commitment.
Look for a husband, not just a boyfriend
Hence my emphasis on commitment on the previous point. A future husband is ready for marriage. He is kind with his words. He is willing to set aside his pride. He honours you. He doesn’t ask for sex before marriage or any physical form of intimacy. He respects your opinions. He gives. He initiates. He is mature. He is responsible. He loves his parents. He loves you.
There isn’t anything written on stones on this topic and the above list could go on and on. However, I believe with sound mind and wisdom we can learn to better discern the potential partner that we come across.
“The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of Christian, But the fact that I am a Christian does make me a different kind of woman.” Elisabeth Elliot