I am Unlovely – Feb 14

By Yosia Yusuf


  1. Do I need to love myself before I love others? There is a popular belief among Christians that said, ‘You can’t love others if you don’t love yourself.’ Is this statement valid? I’m not too sure. Now before you throw stone at me for being heretical, let’s consider this statement together. If me loving others dependant on me loving myself, that means I ought to love myself. Do you see what’s the problem? For me to love myself, I have to see me as lovely. Are you lovely? Your parents might say so. But if the secrets of your heart are revealed to public for all to see, would they find you lovely? I don’t think so. So to find yourself as lovely, you either have to be very narcissistic or blind. Neither helps in loving others.

The truth about your heart is that it is ‘deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?’ If you are honest about yourself, you will find many things that you hate about you. How many times have you disappoint others? And how many times have you disappoint yourself? Countless. So what is it to love about you? None! Are you unlovely? Yes you are. So let’s say it out loud, “I am unlovely.”

  1. How can I love others? Now that we agree on the fact that we are not lovely, I want to tell you that you are loved! Yes, you! I’m talking to you! Despite the fact that you do not have appearance that you want, despite the fact that you disappoint others and yourself countless of times, despite failing again and again, I want to tell you that you are loved. You are not lovely but you are loved! The key to loving others is not found in loving yourself but knowing that there is a person who knows all your shortcoming and weaknesses and yet He loves you eternally. And He not only loves you, it is His love for you that make you lovely! Now you are free to love others who are just as unlovely as you are because your love for them is not based on whether they are lovely or not. It is based on the fact that you are loved in spite of you unloveliness.


  1. How can I know He loves me? He loves me, he loves me not. He loves me, he loves me not. So does he love me or not? A lot of times our understanding of love is based on deserve or undeserve. There are days that we feel we deserved to be love and there are days that we fall short and feel undeserved to be love. The good news is God eternal loves for you is not based on deserved or undeserved. None of us deserve His love. We are unlovely being with a wicked heart. But yet He chose to love you before the foundation of the world. Before you do anything good or bad, there is a God who committed to love you and turn your unloveliness into lovely. How amazing is that? Ponder on this verse with me – “He will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.” The God of heaven and earth loves you so much to the point that He sings over you! Yes, He sings over me! And to personify His song for us, He sends His one and only Son to die for us so that He can sings over us forever and ever. And His song requires one simple response from us. Would you listen?
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